Oh the horror.
It was just awful. I’d heard about it, but I hadn’t yet seen it.
That stupid sun with the baby’s face in it appeared on the screen and my son — he — oh, I can’t even write it.
*composing myself*
Deep breath.
He giggled. My son giggled. He giggled at … at… them.
The lady who watches him once told me about such an incident, but I laughed it off. It couldn’t be true. It just couldn’t. Not my child.
But it was indeed true. And here it was - right before my eyes!
I was so mortified that I turned to Hubby for comfort.
“Make it stop,” I pleaded as I clung to my husband and sobbed into his chest. “This can’t be happening to us.”
“It’s OK, honey. We’re going to make it through this. What doesn’t kill us can only make us stronger.”
I am, of course exaggerating about what Hubby said. Only about what he said. My reaction has been described frighteningly accurate.
It is accurate because what my son was doing was so completely hideous it can only be described in photo form — I dare not write in words what it is he was doing. If I do I may be cursed by the Evil which created — the things of which I can not speak.
If there are children near, cover their eyes. And for parents: turn your heads away if you have a weak stomach. I won’t be responsible for the illnesses that might result from what you are about to see.
Deep breath.
And here it is….
Can you handle it?
Can you see? Do you need a closer look? Say you don’t…OK. Fine….here….Brace yourself! It’s horrible!!!!!!
It’s awful! Dear God, save us! Save us from the Evil Ones!
Letters of condolences can be sent to my comment box. Or you may simply click on to Humor-Blogs.com and boost my score, making me forget all about the horror that is … Teletubbies.
Just wait. There are more horrors around the corner, like Disney’s Virtual Magic Kingdom!!!
Sure it’s mindnumbing, but a gin and tonic fuzzes you out just enough and it’s better than that whiney Caillou kid that I just want to punch in the face.
That, that right there is the only way I can console myself over the fact that we do not have television! My least favorite, The Wiggles. If you are going to let your son watch the wiggles, let’s face it you might as well let him ride in a parade on that pink and purple bike, go ahead, add the sequins and boa too, you’ve already done enough harm exposing them to those “guys”. Fortunately Elyse (when we had television and when we go visit my parents) has fabulous taste in cartoons… Little Bear, Backyardigans, Max and Ruby, and Charlie and Lola (my personal favorite) are the only ones she really likes. They don’t even like the Doodlebops! Can I get a HALLELUJAH!! The older two do however LOVE to color themselves with sidewalk chalk and pretend they are the doodlebops. I think they are just mocking them though because they are VERY smart children!
Sarah:
Actually, Jonathan loves Max and Ruby, Little Bear, and the Backyardigans, as well as Caillou, which we actually really like (sorry Alice).
But this teletubbie thing..it normally happens when I’m not around him and it will continue to do so I suppose because I just can’t handle it.
Meg:
Luckily we are too poor to afford the magic kingdom…
I’m sure somehow you will muster up the strength to go on.
This is the EXACT reason we don’t own a television. This, and purple dinosaurs!
*involuntary shudder*